Tag Archives: john p kildemm

HEY DOORMAN: The 5th True Tales of an Uncommon Bouncer in Los Angeles (and the short film HUMOR) by Haji Outlaw

The acclaimed writer of The Eric Andre show Haji Outlaw (otherwise known as John P. Kildemm, has brought together a brand new entry in the acclaimed book series true tales of an uncommon bouncer in Los Angeles, as well as a fantastic short film titled HUMOR. Here is the synopsis for both:

WHAT HAPPENED DURING A DRUNKEN NIGHT WITH HARRISON FORD?
HOW DO WE SOLVE SEXUAL MISCONDUCT?

The answers are a click away!!!

Acclaimed writer, Haji Outlaw, goes under his pen name of John P. Kildemm in the fifth installment of the hit Amazon short-read, Hey Doorman.

HUMOR: A deathly charismatic bear tells the unknown Russian tale of Humor Gredanko. The funniest boy in the history of time. From a brutal winter forest, to an erection, to ravenous boars, comes a darkly comedic story from Haji Outlaw. The acclaimed writer for The Eric Andre show and author of the bestselling amazon ebook series, Hey Doorman.

First off, the book was a fantastic new story that showcases the weird side of the LA bar scene. From idiots who have a problem with used socks to a modern commentary on the sexual assault allegations coming out of Hollywood, this book is an honest, brutal yet humorous look into the modern world and is told with a fresh voice that deserves to be heard.

Meanwhile, HUMOR was a truly unique and original film that was shot beautifully. The funny yet dark tale of Humor Gredanko is a twisted story from start to finish, and the narration and cinematic storytelling was what made this film shine. It’s definitely worth a watch if you are into dark comedies and truly artistic visuals.

Overall Haji Outlaw has brought 2017 to a resounding close. A 5th book filled with humorous and real tales from Los Angeles and a short film that is like no other, the acclaimed writer has done a marvelous job of capturing the modern world in both film and book formats, and if these are any indication then the names Haji Outlaw and John P. Kildemm should be imprinted on your brains as we head into 2018! Be sure to pick up your copies of this incredible book today and follow the author on his social media sites!

Ratings

Book: 10/10
Film: 10/10

Facebook: @hs.outlaw
Twitter: @outlawhaji
Instagram: @outlawhaji

Interview with Author John P. Kildemm

1) Tell us a little bit about yourself. What inspired you to become a writer?

I was inspired to become a writer through comedy. I have been a standup comedian for over a decade and even as a kid, standup was one of the few professions that I could actually respect. Which, despite a fear of talking in front of people, allowed me to pursue standup comedy.

2) What was your biggest inspiration for writing this book?

The biggest inspiration for writing this book, Hey Doorman VIII, was the election of Donald Trump. Which if one reads the book will easily identify as the inspiration. As I saw, and continue to see, a lot Trump’s attributes (arrogance, thin-skinned, xenophobic, misogynistic etc.) in the intoxicated and not intoxicated patrons of the establishments I work at. The number two inspiration was having time in between other projects (and not being hired to write on a tv writing staff, but that’s a story for another day about being black in Hollywood).

3) What theme or message do you hope readers identify with when reading your book.

In all of my non-fiction titles, which Hey Doorman is, there is no overall message or theme, besides being entertaining and funny in my signature brand of comedy. Which is honest, simple and wrapped in a Tarantino/Palahniuk/Chappelle darkness. In my fiction titles, the overall message often follows one of my favorite lines (albeit modified) from the Matrix trilogy: “Everything that has a beginning has an end. I see the end coming. I see the darkness spreading. I see death. And there is nothing that stands in its way.”

4) What social media site has been the most helpful in gaining a readership?

I’m not sure there is a social media site that has been most helpful in me gaining readership. Each one that I’ve used in the past, Facebook and Twitter, have there own benefits. But neither seems to have outweighed the other. If anything, the best way to gain readership without a big financial push, is word of mouth. So in that way, Facebook and Twitter are about equal in my estimation. But I just joined Instagram, so we’ll see what happens there.

5) What advice would you give to anyone who wants to pursue a writing career or is a beginning author?

My biggest advice to aspiring authors, is the same advice that Too $hort gives to aspiring rappers: “Don’t stop rapping.” In other words keep writing.

6) Any future writing projects in the works?

I do have a few projects currently in the works, but the one which I am most proud of is my directorial debut titled: HUMOR. The short film will be released October 30th on Vimeo On Demand and is available now for pre-order. This is the film’s trailer: https://vimeo.com/ondemand/humorashortfilm

 

You Can Follow John P. Kildemm At The Links Below!

https://www.instagram.com/outlawhaji/
https://www.facebook.com/hs.outlaw

HEY DOORMAN VIII: True Tales of an Uncommon Bouncer in Los Angeles by John P. Kildemm Review

A short yet action fueled memoir set in the post 2016 Election era defines the novel by author John P. Kildemm. Titled “HEY DOORMAN VIII: True
Tales of an Uncommon Bouncer in Los Angeles, this 36 page story takes readers through the life of an LA Bouncer, and the experiences he encounters
in a California city where Donald Trump has become President of the United States. Here is an official synopsis:

SEX — VIOLENCE — TRUMP Eight true tales from your wittiest bouncer’s, wittiest bouncer
Mister Kildemm chronicles the night life in the City of Angels as only he can, in the fourth installment of, Hey Doorman. But this time with a biting political edge working in cahoots with his always hilarious edge. That’s two edges people. TWO.

As Jerry Seinfeld once said, “I’m sure he’s having a good laugh over this with his doorman buddies.”

This short yet sweet read is fun yet mind-blowing, as the often overlooked job of a bouncer at a nightclub showcases the struggles one faces with
various patrons, from the would be robber to the wannabe NBA player. While I will say for younger readers that this is a very adult book, featuring
adult language and sexually explicit terminology, overall I think the book was well told and painted a vivid image in one’s head of these insane
situations. The use of pop culture references worked perfectly here, and the humor and wit used by the author is as lightning fast and entertaining
as the author himself.

Overall I thoroughly enjoyed this book. While it wasn’t the lengthiest of stories, the tales that were told in this memoir are unlike anything I’d
read before and makes you appreciate the men and women who work in the service industry like that and put up with the reckless and chaotic behavior
of trouble causing patrons. It’s a chaos fueled world out there, and author John P. Kildemm has done a marvelous job of bringing that chaos to the
forefront with this novel. If you haven’t yet, be sure to pick up your copies of this book today!

Rating: 8/10